A vaccine Christmas story

So, you’re a pharmaceutical company and you come up with a vaccine. Brilliant. But it turns out the vaccine harms and even kills people, children. Hey, no worries, though. You’re protected, because the government, in all its glorious wisdom, has decided (… with a little prodding from paid lobbyists) that you’re too important to allow people to sue you and take away your hard-earned cash. So if they get harmed or killed, well… tough. They’ll just have to deal with it. Eh, you’ll give them the option of taking their case through an administrative process called the vaccine court, which, in most cases, will not rule in their favor. In the few that do, the money’s public money (… yeah, your tax dollars), so no biggy. The company, meanwhile, is free to keep selling the vaccines and making tons of money from it. It’s all about profit, right? More people are harmed and killed. But neither government legislators nor public health officials nor medical trade associations nor the media see this as a tragedy, because they refuse to believe that vaccines are actually toxic and extremely dangerous. Of course, all you gotta do is scan the ingredients. Stuff you wouldn’t dare put in your morning coffee. But inject into your bloodstream? Eh, what the hell. How bad can it be. Those we entrust with looking out for our safety and health prefer to live in their dreamy world of denial. It’s just not possible that everything they’ve been taught to accept as God’s truth is actually one absurdly big, onerous lie. They’re too comfortable in their slumber to awaken. Too cozy in their napping house, dreaming of sugar plum fairies. Except when it appears that one of their precious vaccines doesn’t seem to work as well as it should. People are coming down with diseases (such as mumps) even though the vast majority of those infected have been fully vaccinated. This poses an uncomfortable dilemma. What to do? No, eating crow ain’t an option. Ah, bingo! That’s it… you force people to get additional vaccinations with the same vaccine (… yeah, the one that doesn’t work). These additional jabs are called boosters. The name is meant to convey the idea that the ineffective vaccine was not really ineffective so much as just not strong enough to begin with. Oops, my bad! So the booster is simply meant to boost the effectiveness. Nothing wrong, really, with the vaccine. It just needed a little help, a boost. Now, all is well in the world. Joy has returned. All is as it should be. We can roll over now, snuggle up in our warm beds and wait for Santa Claus. The End.

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