Dear physicians: just stop

I know you want to DO SOMETHING when a patient comes to you complaining of a malady. You feel you have to DO SOMETHING to justify the time the person has spent coming to see you and the money you will ask them to pay you afterward. But, you know, often times the best thing you can do is NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. Often times, the best thing is for you to give the individual some good, basic healthcare advice. First of all, tell ’em to eat LOTS more green leafy vegetables and lay off the sugar and carbs. Tell ’em to drink LOTS more water (without fluoride, of course). Tell ’em to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Tell ’em to exercise every day, working on cardio, stretching and muscle strength. Tell ’em to get some sunlight as often as possible. Tell ’em to consistently engage in activities significantly to reduce stress. If they smoke, tell ’em to stop. If they drink alcohol, tell ’em to minimize it or stop altogether. If they do illegal drugs, tell ’em to stop. If they do legal ones, tell ’em to minimize or stop. Oh, and if they get vaccinated, definitely, for God’s sake, tell ’em to STOP! If your patient does all of these things you tell him/her, their health is bound to noticeably improve, and you won’t have to do all that other stuff you feel compelled to do—stuff that, in all likelihood, will just make them sicker. Yeah, I know it’s a good business model, but that’s not why you took that oath. Better to tell your patients that they have the capacity to care for themselves and, often, even cure themselves. That you’ll be glad to share sound advice with them, but that it’s up to them to implement it. Remember that your ultimate goal should be to create an environment in which your services are no longer needed.